Welcome back to “Be Better Thursdays” I have good news! I started a “Stay Mindful Holiday Video Series” to help us get prepared for all the opportunities the Holidays bring to become better, more kind, more balanced, more peaceful and of course more mindful among many other qualities.
Keep in mind that the practice lies right where the chaos is, where the stress is and where relationships get challenging. Since most likely we are more prone to that type of tension during the Holidays I created a whole series to help us use our present moment for growth.
Let the Holidays begin! An our first Subject is Transforming Expectation into Requests (skip complaining)
Why would we transform our expectation into anything?
Because we have ideals and fantasies about what we expect of others (and ourselves) and those expectations hardly ever match the reality of what is. Instead of arguing with reality, we can take a different mindful approach to live more calm and balanced with what is.
I propose learning to make requests instead of feeling helpless (or complaining and being negative) with all the bad feelings that come as a result of un-met expectations.
What is a Request?
When you have identified (according to your perspective) what are the actions that someone (or yourself) can do (or stop doing) to make things easier for you, is up to you to ask that question and speak your truth. Remember this is only if you care about it. How do you know if you care? because the absence of the result you expected made you feel upset, sad, annoyed, disappointed, mad, frustrated, agitated and so on. Even if it was just for 5 min. Emotions are time travelers, shine the light of awareness onto them when they come up. if you shut them down, they will come up again eventually (usually in a stronger way)
Always being aware that the intentions underlaying a request are to re-store love. (not referring to romantic love, but to that which connects us all as one). Specially re-store love within yourself, not to satisfy your ego. You can asses your intentions by checking in within yourself first and practicing letting go of the resentment. Or you can practice acknowledging the “bad” emotion and choose love instead. If this becomes very difficult, acknowledge the “bad” emotion and focus on your breath.
How do you know you are ready to make a request?
You are ready to make a request when:
You feel complete and in peace regardless of the answer.
You are clear that the situation/person is not to blame. They are the messenger or the teacher that has come to provide you with the lesson.
You are ready to first ask the person (or the collective) for permission to request something of him/her/them.
You are doing it for the sole purpose of staying in agreement with yourself. That is to say, making sure what you speak, think, feel and do stay aligned. Not to control anything or anyone outside of yourself.
What happens after you make a request?
Be prepared to hear a “YES” a “NO” or a “COUNTER OFFER”
The person can be offended (even if you had the best intentions).
After a requests I often feel liberated, my energy frequency feel higher and I also feel a lot of compassion for myself and others involved.
The more requests you make the better, because we all need to learn to stand in our truth, to listen to our intuition, to hear more “no” so that we are guided closer to our true being (or doing), to practice removing our attention from our expectations and to practice putting our attention inward so we can listen more clearly to our higher self.
The Holidays (specially Thanksgiving) provide a great setup to practice transforming our expectations into requests. Remember to skip complaining. If you find yourself complaining or speaking negatively, catch yourself and make a request.
Be prepared to grow and start practicing as soon as you catch your next unfulfilled expectation!
If you decide to try out this practice let me know how it goes. Or even if you see an Inspirational Quote on your fee and you remember this post, let me know. I’m also available to be your accountability partner if you need one for your new habit!. Remember that what we share can be medicine for someone else and for sure a step closer to a stronger vida!